I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really hate getting my plans disrupted.
Like, stuff I've arranged for and planned for, then suddenly cannot be carried out.
That really gets me frustrated and sometimes pissed off, too.
I mean, I spent time and effort to lay out plans, then at the last minute all of the 'scheming' doesn't work out.
What a letdown lah!
Especially if its something that really matters to me, then it doesn't work out because of someone else who didn't play his part properly.
I know this makes me sound like a control freak, but I just want things to be carried out according to plan.
Sometimes I get these great ideas and then have to ditch them.
Aiyo, what a waste lah!
Sure will feel very very very disappointed, right?
Anyway, the story is that I arranged for a package to be passed on to a friend in KL.
Inside is some important stuff which I initially wanted to give him myself.
Unfortunately, due to some miscommunications, the thing is now sitting in another friend's place.
Still in Sitiawan.
OMG.
When I found out about that, I was like, "Kuso, kuso, kuso!" (Shit, shit, shit!).
Sedangkan I've already gone through the trouble of preparing all the stuff, it's stuck back here pulak.
Haiz~
Okay lah, I know that they didn't do it on purpose, but I'm still very disappointed lor.
So, anyone knows of a way to deliver a package to KL before the 12th of June?
Sans FedEx, please.
Express delivery is bloody expensive.
(Not to mention I've got to bundle the whole thing up in bubble wrap and box it - @_@!)
我不甘心, 不甘心, 不甘心~~~!!!
Okay.
So.
It's been 'bout two weeks of exams already so far.
Done all my Teras (Core) subjects and a few Sciences, next up are Add Maths, Chemistry and Physics.
I'm not counting Sivik and PJPK as subjects.
So, yeah.
Next week is my doom.
'Coz I really suck at the Sciences subjects.
Yet I'm in Science Stream.
You ask why?
I answer, "I pun tak tau!"
Anyways.
On a cheerful-ler note, I changed my blog layout!
(And blog name also, actually)
You like, you like, you like?
Spent so long transferring my widgets over.
OMG, my eyes hurt from staring at all the codings.
But I'm pretty happy with the outcome.
[emoemoii] has been long overdue for a makeover, anyway.
Tell me what you guys think of it leh!
(And tell me if you got any interesting widgets or other stuff I can add to my blog!)
P.S.
Miss my C-Box?
Hehe...
Look up, "Leave A Footprint"!
Love is such a wonderful thing, don't you think?
It appears when you least expect it, grabs you when you try to run from it, and holds you where you are when you turn away from it.
There're so many types of love that exist - from the very basic sibling love to the passion between males and females.
It is one of the most raw emotions that a human can feel and it spurns us to do the most outrageous things.
Things that, under normal circumstances, we'd never ever even think of doing.
IMHO, love is one of God's greatest gift to us.
The ability to love - and the need to be loved in return - is something that sets us apart from the rest of the living creatures. Love is one of the most core senses that even a newborn is able to experience.
Love - and its expression - is something that has the remarkable ability to empower each and every one of us with a kind of fire that enables us to function.
Be it coming from a sister, a spouse, a BFF or a significant other, love is a glowing sensation that cheers us on through everyday life.
When you're loved, it feels like basking in sunshine.
You can go through mundane tasks - school, work, chores, exams - and still feel a vigor that was not there before.
Yes, it applies the same to all factions of love - even parental.
Surprised?
Maybe it seems unlikely to you because you'd be thinking, "Hey, I've lived with my parents for years and never felt the 'burst of sunshine' thing following me through my teeth-brushing routine!".
But (Ah ha!) there's a catch.
With love has to come the ability to express it.
You have to show the person(s) you love that you love them.
Else they wouldn't be able to 'feel' your love.
That much should be obvious, right?
So if you live with parents who're sticklers for rules and are forever uptight, you could be thinking, "They don't really love me,", but it could always be a case of them not showing their love.
Maybe they're not the type to be openly touchy-feely, or maybe they just don't know how.
Yeah, sure, I suppose many people would like to go for classes on "Love Expression 101", and not the type that's just for newlyweds about to go on their first honeymoon, either.
If people could just learn to love openly (And that means showing it!), things would be so much easier.
Maybe that family wouldn't always argue if they knew that deep down under all the shouting matches about financial problems was the idea of wanting everyone to get the best and live comfortable lives.
Maybe that couple wouldn't break up if they knew that behind the accusations of jealousy was an emotion of wanting to keep the other safe.
Maybe those divorcees would still be together if they knew that she cheated on him because he never showed her he loved her or even cared for her.
I don't live in a perfect world where everything's balloons and cotton candy, but hasn't everyone wished at least once before that such a universe existed?
A place where everyone didn't have social restrictions and emotional restraints, and were free to communicate with each other?
Oh, Eden.
I was bored in BM tuition.
Very, very bored.
Okay, everyone.
It's Mother's Day today, so, you all know what to do, right?
Go do something for all your mummies lah!
So, here's my idea of something you can do to give to mummy dearest:
A clay charm.
(PS - Sorry for the awful quality pictures, had to use my handphone's camera)
I used some clay from Korea, which I bought from Popular ('Bout RM8 for this pack).
But basically, you can use any clay you want.
Just make sure it's paper-based and the air-drying type, because the type of clay artists use for pottery and stuff needs baking/special setting and drying techniques.
Paper-based, air-dry clay is just WAY easier.
I 'borrowed' these tools from my Dad, but most ordinary household stuff works, too.
Some examples are toothpicks to poke holes and blades to cut the clay.
(BTW, I only found out later on that these tools were from my Dad's schooling days - They were used for dissection in Biology. OMG!)
So, anyway, firstly decide what shape you'll be making.
Preferably, sketch out your design so that you'll have some guidelines to follow.
Don't do anything too complicated if it's your first time working with clay, because clay-shaping takes a bit of getting-used-to.
Here, I decided on 'M❤M'.
Cut out the clay with the blade/knife, just enough to roll out into an 'M'.
I shaped my 'M' by first making the clay into a square-shaped lump, then cutting out the curves of the 'M'.
(Tell me if you find an easier/neater way to shape letters!)
Do 2 'M's and a heart shape.
The heart was made starting with a square lump, too, then pinched into a heart.
(Sorry I couldn't get any pictures for this step - It's impossible to take photos with clay-covered fingers!)
When you've got all 3 shapes done, get some water and just dampen the areas where the shapes will be sticking to each other.
The clay will become sticky when it mixes with water, giving you glue-like surfaces to join the 3 shapes together.
If it still doesn't feel sturdy enough, use some UHU glue/Elephant glue on the joints to make sure they don't break apart.
Mine came out looking like this:
The hole in the corner is so that I can thread string or loops through to make a keychain/handphone charm.
Poke it with something thin and sharp, like a toothpick.
After you're satisfied with your creation, leave it to dry.
Depending on the size and thickness of the clay, it could take from a few hours to a day.
Should be quite fast, though.
Mine dried in only one night.
Oh, yes, don't forget to keep the rest of the clay in an airtight place.
I kept mine in a ziplock baggie, because common sense will tell you that if the clay can dry overnight, then exposing the leftover clay to air is a stupid idea, right?
So, anyway, by the next day it was dry already.
You can pretty much tell if it's dry by tapping it softly when you pick it up.
If it feels solid, then dry already lah!
A white charm would be SO boring.
So, paint it with some water-based paints.
I used Buncho Poster Colours, because that's the only thing I have.
=P
Paint it however way you want, whatever colour you like.
Although, I'll tell you right now that pink and green DO NOT match.
Oops, my mistake in choosing those colours.
After the paint dries (Shouldn't take more than 15 minutes with poster colours), take your charm outside for a shellacking.
Shellac/varnish can be bought at hardware stores or DIY shops and come in spray cans.
Or you could just try transparent nail polish.
=)
(PS - This layer of shiny coating is important; without it the colours will run off and the clay won't last long. Plus, it pretty-fies the charm. ^^)
Spray one layer on each side, waiting until it dries before you flip it over to do the other side.
Don't miss out the corners!
And don't hold the can too near the clay when you spray, or the coating will end up with air bubbles on it.
Spray it from about 30cm (A long ruler's length) away.
Wait (Again! =O) until the coating dries, then thread either a handphone charm string or even a keychain hoop through the hole.
Next?
Take it and give it to mummy, saying, "Thanks for everything, Ma. I love you,".
=D
I am in Form 5 this year.
I am taking my SPM exams in November this year.
I am in my final year of school this year.
I am also in the most important phase of my secondary schooling life this year.
SO WHY THE HECK AM I STILL SO LAZY??
I know I should study.
I know I should prepare myself.
I know I should stop being so playful.
I know I shouldn't be so involved with extracurricular activities anymore.
Yet, every time the opportunity to say "No, I must start psyching for SPM already," crops up, I can't muster the will to go through with it.
I keep having this mentality that "Aiya, tomorrow also can lah," and then go ahead and enjoy myself anyway.
Effing bad la!
No mojo/motivation to stop procrastinating at all.
At this rate, I think I'll be "Tomorrow"-ing until the day before SPM.
Plus, mid-year exams also coming up.
DIE~
With a notice.
No lah, not police saman me 'coz I didn't wear helmet or was speeding (Although that has happened before... X___x).
But it's an official letter from BB, telling me that I had ‘unsatisfactory attendance/participation’ and was ‘absent from Enrolment Service 2010’.
Thus giving me the choice to either 'remain in the NCO Council and promise to adhere to the expectations/fulfill the responsibilities of an NCO’ or 'relinquish my position as a Council member and remain an ordinary member of BB'.
Those words, almost exactly.
When I got it, I was like "WTH!" in my mind.
It has never occurred to me that I would one day receive this sort of letter from this organization that I have poured my heart and soul into.
As far as I remember, my attendance has been excellent for the 5 years I've been with the Company, with exception of a few 'absences because of unavoidable circumstances'.
And even then, I've always handed in explanation letters and supporting documents to prove my case.
Needless to say, I am now an accomplished letter-writer.
Very convincing.
Very bombastic.
Trust me on this.
=D
Anyway, if you need tips on how to write prettily-worded official letters, you now know who to find lah, kan?
Anyways.
Back to my case.
Okay, I know that I've been unable to attend quite a few meetings lately, 'coz I've been mad busy with the debate competition and I've also been spending weekends checking out potential colleges.
I guess I've missed 'bout 4-5 weekly BB meetings.
Still, I've done all my jobs, completed all my responsibilities and have even tried to be as fully involved in every project/activity as possible, even though I couldn't make it to the actual event!
I taught Target class, as was required by all Senior NCOs.
I prepared all the stuff they needed for the recruitment of new members.
I even did a full multimedia project for the Enrolment Service that I supposedly 'absent' from.
Full multimedia project, okay?
Slides, backdrop, worship lists, even the presentations!
I spent loads of time working on those items before I went for my debate competition, to the extent that I was losing sleep and practice time just to complete the things I promised to do.
Not to brag or anything, and I don't even expect anything in return, but not even a word of thanks for the 'service' I've done all along.
Nope, not a single acknowledgement.
Oh, I serve for 5 years with commitment and nothing happens.
I skip a couple of meetings and *POOF* I get served with a notice.
Brilliant, just brilliant, that.
Yeah, I get it, I'm there to work for God, everything goes back to Him.
I get it.
I know it.
And yes, I thank Him that I'm able to join BB, because it's made me the person I am today.
A person of integrity and confidence.
Sometimes, I look back and I can really see how much I've grown.
I seriously used to be someone who lacked confidence.
I used to walk around with my eyes on the ground and head tilted downwards.
I didn't use to be able to get up in front of a huge group of people to talk.
I used to be insecure and unsure of myself.
And I still am, sometimes.
But so much has changed in me.
Now, I am a school debater and I have a group of wonderful friends.
The blazing anger of my prepubescent self has more or less melted away, to be replaced by something else - something much more promising.
All this, thanks to BB.
I joined it in Form 1.
Now I'm in my final year of Secondary School.
I'm still here.
A much different girl from the little weakling who was pushed to join BB so many years ago by overenthusiastic friends who eventually dropped out.
I am proud of my achievements to date.
Who wouldn't be?
I've been through a lot and experienced so much of adolescent life.
There's more things that I remember fondly of than memories of regret in my past.
I am proud of who I am now.
But is it too much to ask that someone else be proud of me, too?
I suppose I sound cocky.
But, hey, this is the girl who lived with years of insecurity haunting her.
I think I've come far lor.
I thank The Lord, I really do, for giving me these opportunities.
But some things I just can't help being bitter at.
*Sigh*
Anyway, I've already replied the notice letter.
Obviously, I've chosen to stay on.
Can't expect anything else from me, right?
And I've tried my best to give my all for the Company.
I really have.
Things have changed, though.
Nothing is that straightforward anymore.
It's been...
2 weeks?
Since my last post?
*Checks*
One week plus.
Oh, that's not too bad.
=D
But anyway, usually I do update a few times on weekends, so it's considered as quite a while since I posted.
Totally MY FAULT.
Yes, I know.
I was away at KL last weekend, but it was TOTALLY worth it!
(Refer to previous posts)
This time, to compete!
Uh huh, you heard me right, I was in a NATIONAL LEVEL DEBATE COMPETITION!
How cool is that?!
*Crickets chirp*
Okay, okay, so it may not be that cool to everyone, but it RAWKED to me, anyhow.
^^
Anyways, to cut a really long story short, we won 2 rounds/lost 2 rounds = No Octofinals for D-ASH.
But still, met a lot of really cool people and I swear, you'd seriously be amazed at the level of friendships people can find when put together in desperate situations!
We met this Perlis gang whose sole guy was
Deric (Check out his blog for a play-by-play account of our days at Peninsula Hotel/HELP University College, KL) and Houey's roommate.
The rest of the team (3 girls) stayed in the room next to me, Alia and another-Malay-girl-from-another-school-which-I-can't-remember-at-all.
(Sowwee. XP)
We had the luck to be on the same side (Opposition) for the first round, so naturally, we exchanged some notes.
(When I say exchange notes, I mean Chat-Our-Lips-Off, that type of notes. XP)
Aaaaaanyway, those 3 days saw us bonding with the four of them and getting to know many new people.
Won't ever forget those nights we spent labouring over our speeches, sprawled over the beds.
D-ASH and MACS - Uh huh, we both got names.
The full alliance.
*Roots around for more pictures*
Oooookays, the rest of the pics are still with Houey in his camera.
@__@
Never mind lah.
It was a truly GREAT experience for us, especially since we've never debated outside of Perak before.
Just seeing all those people there (90+ schools) made me think, "Wow, we were chosen to come and take part in this,".
Let me tell you, it felt awesome to be part of the 'elites'.
=P
Anyway it's probably the last time I'll be involved in debating as a civilised sport.
(I love that - Civilised Sport)
I'll never stop debating, of course, it's in my blood.
But from now on, it's gonna be kept to teachers, my parents and, occasionally, friends.
Probs no more competitions for me.
So this was really enjoyable.
And I'll treasure it for a lifetime.
Stuff like this, ya don't forget.
=)
The prizes.
(Too bad we didn't have a chance to snag any of those!)
Decided to call the ACS Debate Team D-ASH instead of just DASH because it looks (And reads) cooler.
=D
Anyways.
It's a day away from our national competition.
Yes, yes, only preliminary rounds, but very stressed already lah!
Teams from 90 over schools from all around Malaysia are gonna be there, and we're one of the 90.
Elite right, right, right?
Super happy that we even had an invitation and had this chance to wet our feet at nationals lor.
Anyways these few days leading up to the competition have been super busy and pressured.
Not only are we lacking time to prepare ourselves, but I also have BB Enrolment Service this Sunday!
Goes without saying that I can't attend it lah, but still got many things to do for the program.
*Sigh*
Next time I shouldn't be sooooooooooo ready to offer my help/services out of the kindness of my heart liao.
xD~
These few days, because of the debate discussions, I've been losing my temper a lot.
Like literally, A LOT.
Because I always disagree with one of my teammates, so we constantly end up arguing.
But I also realise that while I am quick to flare up, I am also able to cool down just as quick.
That's a really huge improvement from my last-time super-jalapeño pepper-hot temper.
Maybe God put me in the debate team to teach me how to control my temper, huh?
=P
Anyways, I've learnt to really appreciate help from people.
Like in debate right, after you've been harping on the same topic for 20 minutes, nothing else makes sense anymore.
So when outsiders come in (People whose two cents are sensibly intelligent lah, of course!) and give their opinions, it's like a fresh of breath air breath of fresh air.
(See? See?? Stressed my gray matter so much that it's like, overtaxed liao!)
So, thankyouthankyouthankyou Chuah and Wen Wei for being our fresh air today! (Y'know, Wen Wei, you should seriously be in the team!!!)
Ooooooookay, I think that's enough of ranting for now.
Tomorrow afternoon gonna head off for KL with the gang and Mdm. Cheang.
Wish us all the best, kays?
^^
Went to Penang for a church camp from 17th-19th April.
At first I really really really reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally didn't wanna go.
But what to do?
Parents already registered (Without me even knowing), so bo bian liao.
Car broke down on the way there.
Ishhh~
Dumb Pajero, just slowly started slowing down and eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ died just outside Pantai Remis.
So pek chek la, okay?
Need wait for like, a whole hour in the blistering heat for a replacement car to come.
You guys know la, my super über short temper.
Hot + Bored = Steam la wei!
Okay, maybe that doesn't make sense.
But anyways.
Finally got a replacement Ranger from my dad's company and continued on our way.
I can't even remember if we even stopped for lunch, I was just super tired and angry at being dragged all the way there to spend three days sedangkan I've got so much work waiting for me at home.
But the following days weren't too bad la.
Actually, they were quite okay lo.
The speaker was interesting-er than past year speakers, so I could focus on him.
Learnt quite a few stuff from there, something I most definitely didn't expect.
So, overall, it wasn't a total waste of three days.
=)
Anyways, many people said a lot of things to me at the camp.
Some of the most memorable:
"You know, God wants to see your sensitive, softer side. You don't have to be tough all the time,"
"So many problems? You should really talk to someone lor... It's better, you know?"
"You're lost... But you're turning back. It's not too late because He sees what you're doing, how you try,"
I guess there were others, just can't remember right now.
I guess I can just say that, yeah, I really am trying.
I'm taking their advice and just trying harder to change myself.
Not only the bad tempers, but also the tendency to go looking for trouble.
Just gonna keep trying to give all of that up.
Hey, you.
Thanks for listening, really.
Know that I ❤ you, right?
I do.
=3
