"i want to beat edward cullen with a stick"

this awesomeness is by [rin] , Thursday, December 31, 2009 2:35 PM

 Some Twilight-related thing that I came across while randomly surfing...


The Catalog

Number of Pages in the Book: 498
The First Hint of a Plot that Is Not Bella and Edward's Romance: page 328
When the Plot Actually Arrives: page 372

Boys that Totally Love Bella (Including Edward Cullen): 5

Approximate Amount of Time Bella and Edward are Romantically Involved Before Bella Is Begging Edward to Turn Her into a Vampire so They Can Be Together Forever: Like, two weeks. Maybe three. The timeline's a bit fuzzy.

References to Edward's Beauty: 165

Broken Down into the following categories -

  • Face: 24 (Favorite adjectives: glorious, heavenly, seraphic)
  • Voice: 20 (The voice of an archangel, donchaknow.)
  • Eyes: 17
  • Movement: 11
  • Smile: 10
  • Teeth: 8
  • Muscles: 7
  • Skin: 7 (Note: This only contains accounts of Edward's skin being beautiful. I didn't count references to it as "pale," "cold," or "white." If I had, this number would be about ten times larger.)
  • Iron Strength or Limbs: 5
  • Scent: 4
  • Laughter: 3
  • Handwriting: 2
  • Chest: 2
  • Driving Skills: 1

The Number of Times...

  • Bella Is Clumsy or Makes a Reference to Her Clumsiness: 26
  • Bella Sneers at Forks or Its Inhabitants: 22
  • Bella is "Dazzled" or Rendered Speechless by Edward's Beauty or Touch: 17
  • Edward Tells Bella to Stay Away from Him While Completely Contradicting Himself with His Behavior: 16
  • Bella is Utterly Desolate at Edward's Absence: 12
  • Edward and Bella Kiss: 8
    o Bella's Hormones Get the Better of Her and She Attacks Edward, Almost Causing Him to Eat Her: 2 (She's not even allowed to kiss him back! Where's the fun in that?)
    o Edward's Kiss Makes Bella Faint: 1
    o Edward's Kiss Makes Bella's Heart Literally Stop: 1
  • Bella Thinks She Isn't Good Enough for Edward: 6
  • Edward Is Referred to As Godlike: 5 (Note: This number might be off, as I didn't start counting until three or four mentions in.)
  • Edward Tells Bella She's Unnatural: 5
  • Edward Sparkles: 3
  • Bella is in Mortal Danger: 3
    o Edward Saves Bella from Mortal Danger: 3
  • Edward Stalks Bella, For Real: 2 (Note: One of these instances involves watching her sleep every night for, like, months.)
  • Bella says "Holy Crow!": 2
  • Bella and Edward Argue About Who Loves the Other Most: 1
  • Edward's Inability to Read Bella's Mind is Explained: 0

I would have kept track of how many times Edward's mood shifts unexpectedly and for no reason, but I didn't have that much paper. I am sad, though, that I didn't keep track of how many times words like "granite," "stone," and "marble" are used in reference to Edward. His arms, his lips. Explain to me how kissing cold, marble lips is at all appealing. And yet it makes Bella faint. I give up.


Lines That Made Me Laugh Out Loud Because...Well, You'll See:

I couldn't imagine how an angel could be any more glorious

Note: Unless I say otherwise, just assume such sentiments are referring to Edward in all his glory.

He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare.

Incandescent. Scintillating. The adjectives in this book cracked me up. Because he sparkles!

The meadow, so spectacular to me at first, paled next to his magnificence.

Paled! Is that a joke? Oh, she's serious? I was afraid of that.

As I had just that once before, I smelled his cool breath in my face. Sweet, delicious, the scent made my mouth water.

This to me was the most disturbing aspect of Edward's inhuman perfection. It's just weird. And gross. And weird.

Edward: "There are other hungers. Hungers I don't even understand, that are foreign to me."

Um, Ed, babe? You were seventeen when you were turned. I highly doubt those "hungers" were foreign to you.

I could smell the unbearably sweet fragrance coming off his chest.

He pressed his cool lips to my forehead, and the room spun. The smell of his breath made it impossible to think.

Because, through the heavy water, I heard the sound of an angel calling my name, calling me to the only heaven I wanted.

He leaned in slowly, the beeping noise accelerated wildly before his lips even touched me. But when they did, though with the most gentle of pressure, the beeping stopped altogether.

...EDWARD KISSES HER AND HER HEART LITERALLY STOPS. I just...I don't even know what to do with this. Other than laugh hysterically while I beat my head against the table.


From now on, I'm using the word "Edwardian" to refer to something inhumanly beautiful or perfect. For example: "Joe is totally Edwardian. Did you see his abs?"

I am going to laugh at Edward Cullen for the rest of my life - because why, if you are immortal and so gorgeous that women faint at the sight of you, would you enroll in high school? wouldn't you have better things to do with your time?

Note: I think the funniest thing in the world would be if Edward actually ate Bella. I'd, like, frame that passage. Sadly, at the end of the series, I have the feeling Bella will have yet another tragic accident, only this time, the only way Edward will be able to save her is to turn her into a vampire - just as she's always wanted! And I will mourn the death of teen literature.


Bloody hilarious lor!

Note to self:

what stephenie meyer does to my head...

this awesomeness is by [rin] , Wednesday, December 30, 2009 11:47 PM

And by Stephenie Meyer, I do mean the author of the Twilight series.
Just in case anyone needs clarification.

Anyways, I'm here talking 'bout the BOOKS and not the MOVIES okay?
'Coz the movies really suck.

I mean, you just read the first book (Twilight) and then watch the first movie lah.
You'll be like, "Huh? WTH just went on? Why the scene can suddenly jump here? Book got like that one meh??".
The movies try to cram too much of the books' elements in, making them overloaded with pointless scenes.
If you don't know the storyline, I highly doubt you'd be able to understand it from watching the movies.

But the again, which big screen adaptation of books is able to portray the actual writing anyway?
Harry Potter and The Lord Of The Rings movies also leave a lot to be desired lah.

But for those people who prefer watching to reading:


I've read the four books (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn) 'bout twice through so far.

At first it seemed to me that the storyline was okay, but the author's writing style is a bit too simple.
But, anyway, I looked past that.
The ideas she portrayed also so-so only lah.

I just finished reading 'em through for the second time.
Like an abstract painting which reveals something new every time you look, I discovered some new stuff in the books.

For example, Bella's supposed to be super clumsy (She trips over her own feet while walking on a flat, solid ground), but she doesn't seem to be getting accidents at any of the right times.
Only when it suits the situation, then she'll fall over and be neatly caught by her 'drop-dead gorgeous' vampire boyfriend.
*Rolls eyes*

Meyer doesn't seem to be too consistent with her characters' characteristics, eh?
'Coz there're many other incidences like that throughout the four books.
Events where the character's flawed (Or flawless) tendencies only come into play when it suits the occurrences.
At other times, they're hardly there.

Annoying, at times.


With all its weaknesses and all my complaints, you'd think I wouldn't want to read the books again, right?
Surprisingly, I find that I don't really mind too much about those loopholes.
They're there, I noticed 'em, but they don't bother me much.
Guess I'm just a sucker for fantasy romances, eh?
(You can start kicking me in the guts now)


Something random:

Edward Cullen, 'absolutely gorgeous, to-die-for vampire and perfect boyfriend (Or husband in the final book)' of Isabella Swan, listens to Debussy.
For curiosity's sake, I checked out the music on YouTube:

*Raises eyebrows*
He's got good taste...

Ignore the video, by the way.
The movie doesn't do justice to the story.
(Like Alice Cullen is supposed to be super petite and almost-painfully thin lah)
My imagination's so much better.


All the click-able  references are 'coz I've got too much time on my hands.
School starts in a week; I should be getting psyched up for Form 5 life.

christmas at singapore...

this awesomeness is by [rin] , Tuesday, December 29, 2009 3:07 PM

Hey hey!
Imma back from my holidays at the Lion City.
Spent 'bout a week there, with my relatives.

I'm super lazy to explain 'bout all of it, I'll just let the pictures do the talking, eh?
Bear in mind, by the way, that they're taken with a Lumix DMC-FX3...
In other words, there're no DSLR-quality photos, okay!

Can hardly believe how all my stuff could fit into those two bags...

Arrived at SG super early in the morning...
Spent the time waiting in the MRT station for the trains to start for the day.


Visited some places...
Christmas trees were EVERYWHERE!

Something you'll never see so openly and obvious on the streets of Malaysia.

My main mode of transportation.
Damn quick and efficient lor!

No such thing as Mega Mac/Mega McSpicy/Mega Fillet-O-Fish in MAS yet.
Mega burgers got double of everything lor!
I was too busy chomping to snap a pic of the real deal.
Even the garlic chilli is extra nice, okay?!

Something new I found - Japanese Takoyaki!
Nice lor...
It's basically a ball of chewy stuff (Flour, I guess) but the middle is filled with many different fillings.
Like octopus or cheese and ham.

Even ice-cream toppings are abundant with variety.
Food haven!

Went to...

On Christmas Eve to check out stuff there.
I've only got one thing to say 'bout it.

Shouldn't have gone.
Too many people to really be able to enjoy or experience anything at all.

Finally got a decent pair of shoes, though.
Nice right, nice right, nice right??
$80 leh...
It'd better last long!

Oh yeah, show you...

My super cute lil' nephew!

Then, too soon, it was time to go home.
Took the train, as you can see.

Went down to Johor Bahru (Where I met more of my relatives); stayed for a couple of days before making it back just this morning at 'bout 7am.
Tired lor...
But still, not bad lah, this 8-days of holiday.

By the way ar...

Taxis with GPS are so... Suspicious.
Shouldn't taxi drivers know exactly where they should be going?

Over and out.

Sorry for the super awkward arrangements of the pics.
And the sore lack of 'em, too.
Blogger's being a b*tch!

short status update...

this awesomeness is by [rin] , Sunday, December 20, 2009 1:58 PM

Contact lenses [√]
Phone charger [√]
Camera + extra batteries [√]
MP3 [√]
Wallet + cash [√]
Passport [√]
Clothes [Outside]

Yes, outside.
'Coz they were just washed yesterday.

Just came back from Cameron Highlands yesterday, will be shooting off to Singapore later in the evening.
Be back by 28th.

Don't forget to miss me, ya?

happy birthday to... Frankenstein?

this awesomeness is by [rin] , Sunday, December 13, 2009 3:25 PM

When I'm too free...
I edit stuff!

Poor Alan.
He's frequently the butt of my jokes.

But still, he's a great friend.

Happy 14th Bdae, you lil' bugger!


something random, i guess...

this awesomeness is by [rin] 12:04 AM

Which is worst ah?
Breaking a promise you made to someone?
Breaking a promise you made to yourself?

Which one makes you feel the most guilt?
Or are you the heartless type who doesn't understand the meaning of feeling guilty?

(JOKING! Don't look at me like that la. Oi.)

For example...
A porn-watching guy has promised himself not to watch it anymore.

He makes a deal with himself to drop the habit.
Then, his girlfriend finds out about his tendency.
She asks him to stop it, and he promises her too.
So, the next time he watches those X-rated stuff, he'll be breaking both promises.
Which one will make him feel more guilty?

Okay la.
Sorry for the super crude example.
But I couldn't think of anything better.

Besides, in this case, sure he'll feel more guilty for breaking his promise to his GF rather than himself, right?
'Coz which guy will feel bad while watching that kind of stuff, right, right, right?

I guess I'm being sort of totally random with this post leh.
Comes from being in front of the computer with nothing to do.
Desperate lah!

Niways, I'll be on hiatus for 2 weeks plus, starting Tuesday.
Going to Cameron Highlands for camp, then off to Singapore for Christmas!


So you all sure will be happy lah, kan?
No more super boring posts from me on my super boring blog to read until you're super bored to death.

Cheers ya'll.

(Just) A Little Faith

this awesomeness is by [rin] , Wednesday, December 9, 2009 6:23 PM

New blog!

By yours truly.

It's just somewhere I'm gonna be writing out an ongoing story.

It's 'bout a girl, Faith and her journey through life.

Sounds very normal and cliched, but hey, it's somewhere where I can express myself.

Support support support, okay?

my mini shopping spree...

this awesomeness is by [rin] , Saturday, December 5, 2009 9:08 PM

Went for a little shopping trip with Mum today.

(WARNING - Guys may not want to proceed beyond this point. =P)

I needed (Or wanted. Whatever. Same lah, kan?) some clothes for my upcoming Youth Camp at Cameron Highlands.
Had a theory that if I got sleeveless shirts and paired it with my jacket, it'd look good and pack light at the same time.
Gotta wait till camp to test my theory, eh?

Unfortunately, since I live in teeny tiny Sitiawan town, my choices were sorely limited.
But got some pretty okay stuff at one of the shops lah.

Interesting fact: Grey top was from the guys' section.
But comfy okay?
And it doesn't look much different from the rest.
Which shows us how assimilated our style of clothing has become, eh?

Cute right, this hoodie?
Looks way better with sleeves folded up halfway.
I seriously dig hoodies.

Super-ly flared jeans.
The only kind I wear 'coz if I wear straight-cut, it just looks...

Ignore all the price tags lah.
Lazy to cut off.

Anyway, the stuffs not too bad lah, right, right, right?


this awesomeness is by [rin] , Wednesday, December 2, 2009 11:45 AM

Okay, people.
Does anyone have a good way of curing addiction?
Like addiction to...
Old bad habits?

I mean, if it's a bad habit, then drop it, right?
And if it's old, means it's already long overdue for a-dropping.

But some things are just too hard to stop doing if you've been at it for a while.

It's kinda like...
Smoking and addiction to sex.

Oh, well, maybe those are rather strong examples.

But, heck, those are curable.
In fact, most habits can be stopped.
With a strong dose of Will and lots of Support.

Habits that surface as a side effect of something that happened, however, are harder to squish out.

Like the Girl-Who-Bites-Her-Nails because it's her own way of release.
It could be her way of telling people that all's not fine and dandy in her world.

Or like the Excessive-CyberCafe-Haunting-Gamer-Dude who can't control his *DotA (Defense of the Ancients - A crazily famous real-time strategy MMORPG) addictions.
A broken family could be the reason for his constant dwelling of CCs.

Or the Emo-Self-Hurting-Self-Hater who never got enough care and attention.

Or the...
I'm outta ideas.
But you get the drift, right?

Habits that spawn from deeper causes can be potentially harmful.
These addictions have to be addressed from the roots upwards, or the problem will never be solved.

The moral of today's story (Because everything has to have a moral, right?):
Little quirks and stuff that makes someone unique is nothing.
But when one develops a habit that can destroy themselves eventually, it will, well, eventually destroy the person.

So reach out to someone whom you think seems to be acting weird lately.
Your friend.
Your classmate.
Your neighbour.
The guy who sits beside you at Sunday Mass.
Heck, even your dog (He could be having an allergic reaction to his food, you never know!).

A little care and attention can always go a long way.




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